# A Real Southerner Will Never Say



## Archdean (Jul 15, 2004)

Just to see a loyal posters name here and to tweak my Southern Friends!!!

40 Things A Real Southerner Will Never Say

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a .
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.


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## John-in-Ga (Sep 22, 2003)

Don’t know if I’m one of those who you wish to “tweak”, but I’m one of you Southern Friends (I hope), am a loyal poster (albeit not as prolific as some ) and, yes, most of the things on the list are things you will never hear me (or Gloria) say. 

If you really want to see my name here, here it is:
john-in-ga


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## Fordfarm (Dec 27, 2005)

Well - not a southerner, but I wouldn't say most of those things, either! The only exceptions would be 1, 4, 8, 9, 17, 23, 30, 32, and 40!
Guess I flunked!


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