# sad end to a friendship



## slipshod (Sep 19, 2003)

I have been robbed. Not at gun point or by some thug on the street, but by a person I called friend. My farm is three miles from my home and my youngest son lives in the house on the property. Wednesday night I was at work and my son called my,a very rare thing for him to do. Jon my son told me that a young fella he went through school with stopped at the house and asked him if he could park in the driveway and sleep in his truck for a while because he and his wife were at odds and he needed some time away. 
This guy has run a successful lawn care and landscaping business for about five years and I have done a lot of trucking and machine work for him. Always up front with payment, A guy I trusted.
Something about Tom bothered my son, he was dirty, skinny as a rail, and not himself. Jon talked to him and told him to park by the pond and no one would bother him, They had talked for quite a while and Jon had to go to bed for work the next morning. When he went in the house he called me , he asked me to check on Tom on my way home, because he was concerned about him. So at 6 A.M. I stopped at the farm . Tom and his truck were gone.
Also gone were my cordless tools, chainsaw, small portable air compressor, Paslode nailer, and a Dremal tool kit. There may be more, I am not sure yet. It seems that he broke into my shop and stole from me. My first reaction was not to blame Tom, but inside my shop he left the ball cap he was wearing. At no time during his visit was the shop open.
This morning I filed a police report and I will also file an insurance claim, my lose of material things will be minimal. I stand to lose something much more important then a few tools, my faith in my fellow man.
Once I deduced what happened my response was anger and I went on the hunt for him. I do not know just what I would do or say if I had found him today. My search took me to his home and I learned from his ten year old daughter whom I found home alone that daddy was not allowed at the house any more. I spent most of the day running down leads and discovered that Tom tried crack for the first time eight weeks ago and has since drained his bank account, lost all his equipment to the repo man, his family has been evicted, and that his wife is doing about the same. I gained knowledge that the fight was over rocks of crack and he was stabbed by his wife. My visit was at 3 P.M. and I left the house and found a place to watch for when anyone came home. Around 7 P.M. the wife pulled in. I waited until she went in the house then knocked on the door. The little girl answered and the mother pretended to not be home. I yelled into the house that I knew that she was home and that it was in her best interest to come to the door. She was strung out on drugs, a real mess. only a few months ago I had coffee at their house and now I barely recognized this woman. She was screaming at the little girl for answering the door and promised her a beating. As a man I could not allow that to happen as I am sure the child has been tortured more then her share by seeing what she has seen. I went back to my truck and called the chief of police who is a good and fair man and told him the whole story. The mother has been arrested and the child has been taken by protective services. Drugs were found in the house.
I am overwhelmed with sadness, not for anything I lost, but for what I really lost a friend, a little girl who has lost a mother and a father, and a community that feels a little less safe.


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## Michael (Sep 16, 2003)

Slip, I am so sorry to hear this. 
The one I am most concerned with is the young daughter who has seen far more then she should have. 
The bad part in this is the fact that these folks got lost in the sea of drugs. I have seen several of my friends go down this slippery ride and it ain't fun. I had a very close childhood friend who took his life a year ago by putting a gun in his mouth and you can guess what Jake did. another former work friend was found dead 2 weeks age from a O.D. I have seen to many folks who think they can not get hok on only trying these things once (not true). When I was in the Air Force I knew several guys who tried the stuff and were caught by testing. Everytime I hear stories like this I just only have pity for the kids folks have not the adults.


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## Ingersoll444 (Sep 17, 2003)

You know it's bad enough when it is an unknown person, but when it is some one you know and trust................ THAT is what hits hard. 

All I can say is that the 1+ billion dollors the pres candates are spending to get elected, could go to much better uses. Famleys, drug use. 


Slip, I hope things work out. That poor kid is in for a LONG ride, and I hope she has the strengh to clime above it. Becouse ya, you have had stuff robbed from you, but they can be replaced, She has lost her life as she knew it. Thats gone forever.   frown frown


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## Durwood (Sep 16, 2003)

I just hope Childrens services gets involved and gets that little girl out of there so she can have a life. What a pity...it's one thing when you're an adult and want to throw your life away , but it's another thing to ruin the lives of the children. Please keep us updated on this. Maybe a little time in the slammer will open his eyes and dry him out.


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## guest (Sep 16, 2003)

8 Weeks to ruin your life.. Jeez you always see and hear how addicting crack is.. what a friggin shame... 8 weeks a family a business and 3 lives down ruined.... 


thats horrible.. maybe they can rehab the family.. thats truly a sad story


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## Live Oak (Dec 22, 2003)

Sorry to hear about yours and your former friend's troubles Slip. What can you say about something like this, that hasn't already been said other than sometimes (more than not), life can be a really jadding experience. Even worse when it comes from a friend. Pray for your former friend and his wife that they can get their screwed up lives straightened out. I have seen a LOT of this type of thing around my area and the first thing that comes to my mind is " there but by the grace of God go I".


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## Ernie (Mar 18, 2004)

Slip it has to very tough to do the right thing and call the authorities on a person that was thought to be a friend.. Its a crying shame that this society has to use drugs to enjoy life... Probably why we are in some of the trouble we are in today...Good luck on the ins. claim and do pray for these souls that are lost... Just maybe they will grow older and drug free...frown


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## jodyand (Sep 16, 2003)

I have a brother in law who is like that stole from everyone in the family. His wife left him about two years ago and took the kids. Best thing for the kids (IMO) All you can do is hope they get help and the girl ends up somewhere with someone who cares about her. Slip as far as your tools what they or you can find in your local pawn shops is great and the rest can be replaced. Just be thankful that nothing happen to your son by this guy or any drug dealer looking for this guy. When druggies want drugs they will do anything to get money to get them. It doesn't matter if they are your mother, father, there kids or grandparents. I have seen it all first hand and my brother in law is not allowed back at my house.


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## Argee (Sep 17, 2003)

WoW....My heart goes out to the little girl...what a tragedy for her to have to grow up in that kind of environment...And look what it (the crack) turned her parents into, liars and thieves...what role models....What a shame.


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## BillP (Sep 17, 2003)

That is so sad and my heart goes out to all of you. As someone already said, I know it was tough to do the right thing, but you were strong enough to do it for the child. It is terrible on her, but hopefully she will be better off in the long run. 
Warn your son to be alert and you keep your eyes open too. I have seen some of the same type stuff in my life, a kid that grew up with mine, played on our little league teams, turned to drugs as he grew up, got so bad that he would beat his old grandmother up and steal her soc. sec. checks. Stole and sold most of her home furnishings including her A/C unit. Every one that has tried to help him and befriend him gets burned. Unfortunately it is a widespread and terrible problem that seems to know no boundries, afflicting affluent neighborhoods, the countryside as well as the ghettos. I wish that I knew some answers that would help, as does many others, I'm sure.
Bill P.


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## bear (Oct 20, 2003)

sorry for your loss slip the tools can always be replaced storesare full of them good freinds aren't that easy to find. the real loser in the whole deal is that 10 year old girl. the last 8 weeks of her life must have been hell i hope she's placed in a good place and can put all this behind her


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## Chris (Sep 15, 2003)

I cannot offer any wisdom and I am in full agreement with what has already been stated here, Slip. I am so sorry for you in having to come to terms with all of this severe emotional turmoil in your life. Thanks so much for having the trust, kindness and friendship to everyone here for posting such a personal event here on the forum. My heart goes out to you, your family and the innocent child in all of this. 

-Andy


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## slipshod (Sep 19, 2003)

*Friends and family*

For the record as sad as this event is I have put my anger behind me. As disheatening as this all was today was a day of family and friends, we had our yearly pigroast. Many many people put in long hours getting everything ready and great, food, great music, and over 250 people enjoyed a day of grand sunshine and fellowship. I will post about Pigmania 2004 on another happier thread.


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## bontai Joe (Sep 16, 2003)

Slip, As sad as the story was, I just wanted to say how proud I am of you for doing the right thing and getting that little girl out of that environment. God Bless you for stepping up instead of turning away, it may not seem like you did much, but you probably saved that little girls life. It's a lot more than most folks would have done:thumbsup: Sorry to hear about the loss of your tools and the loss of a friend, but the Lord works in mysterious ways. Perhaps you were chosen to intervene on the little girls behalf. She may now have a chance to become somebody that contributes to the community.


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## Chris (Sep 15, 2003)

Good points there Joe! Kudos to you, Slip. That girl will one day truly appreciate your efforts made on her behalf when she was helpless and going down the drain with her parent's and their addictions. Great point there, Joe. 

Andy


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## Neil_nassau (Feb 23, 2004)

How very sad...........please help the kid. It's not her fault.
Reminds you every day...no matter how bad you think you got it......someone is doing worse.


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## slipshod (Sep 19, 2003)

*update*

On Friday I got a tip on this guy, so I went looking for him again. I called the police officer that I am working with and he came from the other direction. Well we were not fast enough the guy had already left the spot he was seen at, but as a result of all my diggingtwo other men have been arrested. One guy was a fence for stolen goods, only worked on sunday mornings, go figure. The other one is an eightteen year old kid who was involved in a burglary of a home not far from me.
My thoughts on the wife of the guy I want to catch seem to be right on the money. She posted notes for her husband to stay away from the house because I am looking for him. The little girl is back home with her mother and on sunday the kid was running a garage sale at the house selling her bikes and toys or anything anybody wanted from the house . The mother was no where to be found. After speaking with the landlord I have writen permission to be on his property at any time. The good thing about this whole thing is that I am extracting my own pound of flesh from this dirtbag and I hope his neck is getting stiff looking over his shoulder. The fear of taking an ass whipping are sometimes worse then getting one. After several people went to the house to witness the little girl home alone all day sunday I called the child protective services again, do not know what happened. I am going to keep the pressure on this guy until he is caught and brought in.


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## Chris (Sep 15, 2003)

I cannot believe this little girl is still being put through all of this
torment and grief. CPS is a joke in most regards and does little to really protect the children from most serious cases of known endangerment. I think it is a good thing to keep the pressure on him --- he has to come home sometime --- if he was a man about things he would come to you and deal with his drug abuse, his deceitfulness and take his lumps. (but then we all know that is a moot point in this saga as he wouldn't have stolen from you if he was any type of person) FEAR is a strange thing --- it is probably making him paranoid as all heck, who knows what he might do to "protect" himself. Be careful out there, Slippy.

Andy


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## bear (Oct 20, 2003)

keep the pressure on him you'l find him. and stay on cps i can't beleive beleive they let the girl back in a home like that


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## Stewart (Sep 17, 2003)

We tell our son that doing the right thing is not always the easiest, but it is the right thing!!! Sorry for the hassles this guys has caused you, but he has made choices and he has to live with them. Good or bad!!! I hope he gets caught before he can screw up somebody elses life! Thanks Slip!


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## guest (Sep 16, 2003)

how could they send her home again? the poor thing.. they are selling her stuff for crack dollars.. i can not believe something was not done by xhild protective services... especially if the mother was also strung out..


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## slipshod (Sep 19, 2003)

*he has been caught*

But not until he also garnered stolen vehicle charges to go along with everything else. He was caught with a stolen pick-up after the police impounded his truck. He now sits in lock-up with no bail because he is a flight risk. Child protective services must have been watching the wife as the little girl is out of the house again. My stuff and the things belonging to the other folks are being looked for at pawn shops by the county recovery unit.


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## bontai Joe (Sep 16, 2003)

I'm still proud you stepped up for that little girl. Your son seems to be rightfully cautious for not inviting the guy in the house. I'd say you taught him well. I'll keep praying for the little girl and and that you get your stuff back.


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## Live Oak (Dec 22, 2003)

Slip, have things changed for the better for the little girl? Just watch your back. You never know with people like this. :truth:


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## slipshod (Sep 19, 2003)

*The process has started;*

Last night he was brought to court by the sherriffs. I went just to see it for myself, he made no plea to several charges and asked the court for a free lawyer. What amazes me is how much this former friend has changed, he looks like death, skinny as a rail, and his skin tone is gray. Not a single member of his family was in the court room, not even his so called wife. He was given a bail figure of $5,000 and I do not see him getting out of lock-up before this thing is over. He also has to post bail in two other courts for his crimes. 
The little girl as far as I can tell is not living with the mother, I do not know what Child services has done, Probable placed the child somewhere safe, we can only hope. Anywhere is better then where she was.
I have been contacted by a detective with the property recovery unit and he has some things he wants me to look at, from his discription he has found my tools, or at least some of them. Tomorrow I go to the city and try to recover them.
Chief, as to your concern about watching my back with this type of people, "thank you", but after working in the criminal justice system for 23 years I have discovered that if you go on the hunt, the rats will scurry and crawl down their holes. If they want more of me all I can say is "bring it on".


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## Live Oak (Dec 22, 2003)

Just be careful Slip; you never know what a drug addict is capable of.


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## bontai Joe (Sep 16, 2003)

How did you make out recovering your tools? And is there any word on what is gonna happen to the little girl?


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## SuperFreak (Sep 18, 2003)

Sorry to hear about the problems. In real life the best thing that could happen to him is that he goes to jail for a while.

I too have a family member Frank who is a great guy but every few months he goes a rampage of drugs and does not return home for a week. Money is always overdrawn and he car is missing, sometimes it is traded for drugs and the police is called.
He is a great guy and i have bailed him out of jail once , but a few weeks after he got out he did it again. 
My intentions were to help him out so he could go back to work and not lose his house. But he is running out of his 9 lives. He never had to do any jail time as he got away with semi serious crimes.
His wife left him for another man (justified) as he cheated and on her on his rampages for years.He even contracted hepititis C.

Hope you get your tools back.


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